Tiptoeing Through the Tulips

IMG_2225

Every conversation with you is a test.

A tricky exam with multiple choice answers designed to trip up all but the savviest applicant.

Like an H.R. pro, your analysis hidden, and your poker voice perky and appropriate…

Your relationship hopeful never sees the ax coming until their severed head watches its body falling as it’s rolling across the floor.

 

©Dani Heart

6-29-2019

Perceptions

DSC03923

Humidity, lush landscapes, and cool air forced through little vents occasionally remind me of you.   Insulated and isolated from the world outside in our rental car we proceeded with our mission. Brief interludes of camaraderie, when we were united against a common enemy, or a random life obstacle I recall fondly.  Moments when we were on the same team, team family, and had each other’s backs, or was it that I just had yours?  Did I mistake your uncommon lack of cruelty for kindness, acceptance, and love even? Did I?  The trouble is… I can’t be certain.

 

©Dani Heart

6/14/2019

 

An Open Letter to Brick and Mortar Retailers Everywhere that Harass their Customers

 

IMG_2765

Dear  Home Goods, Target, Kohls, Petsmart, (Insert your favorite store here),

Stop harassing your customers! It used to be so much fun to go shopping.  It has turned into a hassle at the checkout, and sometimes even before.  If you want to stop losing SO much business to Amazon, give customers what they want without the hassle.  I am SICK and TIRED, of being aggressively targeted at check out to sign up for your tracking promotions, store credit cards, or to give to whatever charity you have decided to support with the harassment of your customers.  Checking out used to be a breeze. The order would be rang up and we would offer whatever form of payment and that would be the end of it. Now every employee you come into contact with will attempt to coerce you into signing up for a store credit card.  A polite no thank you doesn’t seem to get the message across. You are then made to feel stupid for not wanting to save whatever percentage off they are offering at the time.  When you say no thank you again in a firmer tone, they usually reply with something like “I’m just trying to save you some money and help you out”.  No, you are trying to meet your sales goals so that you can get that bonus or whatever and help yourself out!  Every savvy consumer knows that store credit cards are a rip off. They have high interest rates and are designed to lure you into carrying a balance and paying that ridiculous interest.  I LOVE Amazon! I know…it’s dangerous, but I love the ease and accessibility.  You can find everything on Amazon. You can read reviews, do research, all right from the comfort of your home. Amazon saves your payment info, if you let them, (which is why you should always enable two factor authentication) you push the button, without the hassle of a complicated pos, and voila your items are delivered right to your door.  If you are a Prime member your items usually come within a couple of days.  No fuss, no muss! It’s pretty hard not to love it.  I have now bought things on Amazon that would have in the past been unheard of mail order purchases, like a bed, and a bed frame.  I read the reviews and did some research, and pushed the button.  Lo and behold in a couple days a bed showed up on my doorstep.  It was fricking awesome!  It’s a better bed than the tempurpedic we once paid a couple grand for.  So why would I physically go to a place where I am going to be harassed.  So far the only good reason is, you want to touch what your buying before you buy it.  There are some things that are better seen in person before purchasing.  It doesn’t seem to be enough that we shop at your stores and give you our hard earned dollars, no… you want to collect and sell our info too, and coerce us into high interest rip off cards.  Be warned, there is very little these days that you can’t get on Amazon, and unlike YOU they appreciate, cater to, and don’t harass their customers.

Sincerely,

Frustrated Consumers Everywhere