Colorado Blue

DSC03682

 

Is not a cool color setting on your favorite camera,

but maybe it should be…?

It’s the view that results from an unobstructed,

unpolluted path between you and what’s real.

It is more than a sharply focused panorama.

It’s the clarity of pure flowing water in the Rockies,

and air so clean it hurts a little to breathe it until

you adjust.

 

Maybe…it’s a state of mind?

 

But if it was a setting I would apply it to everything,

a cleaner, clearer, purer life.

 

I was warned about Colorado.

I’ve seen pictures that hinted at, but failed

to capture its majestic magnificence.

Now bitten, I’m smitten, surely to return time and again,

thanks to you, and Colorado Blue.

 

© Dani Heart  8/3/2016

(For Shane)

IMG_5862

 

 

Processing…Please Wait :)

IMG_5706.JPG

I process things much slower than most people, feel emotions deeply, experience stimuli more acutely and with greater intensity. This makes life exceedingly difficult and amazingly awesome in equal measure.

It is challenging to explain to others what I am just getting a grasp on myself.

I didn’t always have the words.

In a world that requires multi-tasking, thinking on the fly, and quick appropriate replies, I have accepted that I must navigate it on a sort of conditioned response auto pilot.

But if I’m honest… sometimes I just wish I could hold up a sign that says

“Processing…Please Wait :)”

 

7/21/16

 

 

 

We’re Only Here for a Little While

20160616_182944

No matter who you are or what you believe I think life has a way of reminding us of the things that should be most important. We get so caught up in the day to day that we often forget to truly savor and nurture the important people in our lives. I do my best to really live every day and give what I can to make the world a better place. Though I make a point to hug & kiss and tell my wife that I love her every day, and I make a point to connect in some way to all those I care about as often as possible, it’s not always easy when the people you care about are scattered.  A few things have happened lately to remind me that I need to make those connections and the savoring of the love I am lucky enough to have a top priority as much as humanly possible. So I am going to share with you, and maybe it will be a reminder for you as well.🙂

It’s funny how the universe works sometimes…. like it’s knocking, and if you don’t listen the knocking grows so loud that you can’t ignore it.

First knock- It all started with a phone call at my place of employment, which is a deli. Now when you work in the restaurant business they usually do not allow you phone calls at work unless it’s an emergency. I have not given my work number to anyone. So the cashier answers our deli phone and says “Dani it’s for you, someone named Meridith”. The only Meridith I know is my sister in law. My heart starts to race. They have to clear it with the manager on duty before they can even hand me the phone. In those brief seemingly never-ending moments, I run through all the things that could be wrong. If my sister in law went to the trouble to look up my work number and phone me at work, my brother is either in the hospital or dead, or some other catastrophic thing has happened. I think about the last time I spoke with my brother. We don’t speak nearly often enough. A few years back he moved out of state. Before that we used to see each other about once a month. He and his wife always made the drive to come and see us. It was harder for us to get away with kids and all. The drive was 2 hours each way. He has come to visit once since he moved, and we were both at my daughters wedding, but other than that I haven’t seen him. There are all kind of reasons why and they are all valid. That said, I have renewed fervor to make it a priority to go and see him. We are going very soon. My manager allowed the call and it turned out to be a customer. Whew! Slowly my heart rate returned to normal.

Second knock- I dropped off my wedding ring to be resized at our favorite local jewelers. It is owned by 2 very charismatic brothers. They do good work, they are timely, and it is always nice to chat with them when I/we go in. I have been having trouble with swelling lately, and over the years I have also grown a little larger. Long story short my ring finger swelled so bad one day that the circulation to my finger was being affected. I was afraid that I might have to have the ring cut off. The swelling slowly dissipated and after a few days I was able to get the ring off, but it wasn’t easy. So I decided it was time to size it up. Not worth the risk. So I dropped it off at the jewelers and they said it would be ready the following Saturday after 3 pm. I show up Saturday to pick up my ring and there is a note on the door that said closed due to family emergency. The writing was erratic. It was disturbing, but I didn’t give it much thought. I called Monday, no answer, voice mailbox full, I called Tuesday…same. Wednesday I drove over there. There was a new sign on the door, typed with a photo. The photo was of the younger brother in one of his favorite hats. The typed message said RIP beloved brother, and gave the details of how he dropped dead of a heart attack Saturday on the golf course while golfing. It listed the funeral service location for those that may want to pay their respects. It also listed the times when the store would reopen. My heart sank. He was my favorite of the two brothers, the younger  hippier one. He had a ponytail for the longest time. He appeared to be in good health. He wasn’t much older than my wife and I….

3rd Knock, or perhaps I should say ramming of the door…-I was on facebook late in the day after having been busy with odds and ends and I started seeing posts that said “We stand with Orlando” and Prayers for Orlando. My wife and I went WTF!? happened in Orlando? So we went to our internet news headlines and there it was…. the largest mass shooting in U.S.  history.  We read in the coming days about all the victims, looked at photos of their smiling faces and cried. The stories were all so hard to bear. One that was especially soul crushing was the guy texting his mother from the bathroom of the club, telling her he loved her and that he was trapped and the shooter was coming and he was going to die. I’m a mother of a gay son and all I could think was what if that had been him in that club bathroom. WTF!!!???

My wife and I have been squeezing each other a little tighter lately, and for a little longer. We’ve been hugging our one son that still lives with us a little more. Kindness costs us nothing, and it’s what people remember about us when we’re gone. Love is all that transcends this life. Lets be a little kinder and gentler with each other, lets love a little harder and more often…cause we’re only here for a little while.