Wishful Thinking

31 Years ago today I gave birth to you and I don’t even know if you’re alive.

I like to think I’d know…in my heart…

There was a time when I think I would have, but that bond has long been broken now.

You were always a wild child leaving home at just 18.

I respect that you are grown and living life on your own terms.

It would be nice to hear from you every now and again…

But it appears that’s just my wishful thinking.

Weekly Gratitude

 

img_5709Cheer Team tiny Peppers it’s Nano Poblano Day 14. Woooot tomorrow we are halfway through. Hang in there, you got this! I thought I might do weekly gratitude on Sunday, but I guess this last week really threw me into a whirlwind and got every thing off track.  It doesn’t really matter what day. The important thing is to always be grateful for the gifts in our lives. This could never be truer for me than right now. This election was a nail biter, and the result a shocker for many. Our country is divided, people are protesting.  Our future is uncertain and worrisome. There’s a lot of work to be done, and honestly I am not sure how to heal the divide. Just yesterday my wife and I were in Home Depot. We opted to wear our safety pins in a show of solidarity. A lady came up to us eyeing our pins, stared my wife up and down while I was talking with a clerk and exclaimed WOW! I didn’t think I would ever see someone wearing a pin in Simi Valley! We did not respond to her, we were in the middle of a transaction. I wish I had responded with Oh I’m sure there are lots of decent loving people in Simi Valley, but I remained silent until the lady walked away.  Wearing the pin is supposed to be a good thing? We even got nasty looks from others who noticed our pins.  How do you heal that? If people are that upset that you stand up with a symbol to say you aren’t racist, bigoted, homophobic, sexist, and they see fit to get verbal with you then what has the world come to?!. Ahem….anyway..gratitude….

1.  I’m grateful for my loving wife.  We just celebrated 16 years together.

2. I’m grateful that we’re legally married, and I hope that doesn’t go away.

3. I’m grateful for coffee. Love coffee. That will probably be on every week. lol

4. I’m grateful for my blokin, and for Nano Poblano.

5. I am grateful for all my journals. OMG I have so many journals and I write in so many of them at once. I love having multiple lovely places to write my heart out once I am able to articulate my feelings. LOVE.

6. I’m grateful for my kitties.  Petting them will melt all your cares away.

7. I’m grateful for bubbled water. Just pure water and fabulous effervescent bubbles. Joy.

8. I’m grateful for Marie Calender’s sugar free razzleberry pie. We are SO getting some of those for Thanksgiving.

9. I’m grateful for comfy beds and blankets and sweet sweet slumber. 🙂

10. I’m grateful for fans. Glorious wind. LOVE.

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That’s it for today Cheerpeppers… see you all again tomorrow.

 

Death of a Broken Heart

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In a long forgotten corner

through dark recesses

under cobweb cover

 

There beats a once cherished heart

 

Frayed at the edges

time ravaged and torn,

still it pulsates with love’s rhythm

and hope…

 

Abandoned by youth,

and cast out for pastures greener

with emotions heavy

It waits…

 

Cleaving to walls that offer no comfort,

in realization of rank relegation

It cries out…

 

Alone in the blackness,

will crushed by truths blow

It succumbs…

 

And in this long forgotten corner,

laying bloody, broken and defeated

a heart once cherished

beats no more…

 

copyright 6/5/2009

Dani Heart ♥