If I Could Turn Back Time

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I would multiply and hold onto precious moments spent with you a little bit longer…

Time is so much more fleeting than we realize.

I wasn’t ready for you to marry and start a family of your own.  I knew it would change our relationship and I’ve never been very good at sharing…

If I’m honest… I grieved a little, okay a lot.

I thought maybe there wouldn’t be any more precious moments for us…

But then your son was born and you allowed me to be there in the delivery room to share in your joy, and it was an amazing experience.

Lil girl, you now have a lil girl too, and perhaps one day you will know exactly how I feel?

I will forever remember fondly our week long camping trip, just us girls and how you gleefully hopped us every chance you got in the Trouble game.

A college visit home when the house was full and we said you would bunk with us, only to watch you run and hop right in the middle of our king size bed laughing as you staked your claim on mattress space.

You were always an imp!

A full week of just you and me time when you were a teenager will always be special to my heart. Chicken Caesar Salad please (No Ladybugs)

Time and space separate us presently and it’s hard to partake in each other’s lives…

But I know going forward that our moments, when we can manage them, will be different…but no less precious.

©Dani Heart 4/12/19  (For Lil Girl)

Spreading Holiday Cheer

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A couple of nights ago I took holiday potpouri oranges to each of the neighbors closest to us.  I even gave one to a neighbor we have had issues with. Last night I filled out and mailed our holiday cards.  I feel at this time it is paramount to remember who we are, and what connects us on the most basic levels.  We’ve become so divided with all the horror that is going on right now.  I see it on social media every day.  People reveling in small victories, celebrating hatred with no care to who they’re hurting.   Families harming each other at the voting booth while smiling happily across the holiday table.  When did we stop being human? We all bleed, we all hurt, we all cry, we all get angry, we all want what we want, but most importantly we all LOVE.  I’ve been binge watching sappy Christmas movies on Netflix.  I need to feel good, even if it’s just for a couple of hours.  The hatred and vitriol that dominates the news feeds and social media is really getting to me.  There are good people doing good things, we’re just not hearing about it.  It doesn’t make headlines, generate enough page clicks.  So it’s up to us to spread kindness, and love, and to try to aid healing.  I’m not suggesting we not be woke and vigilant against the countless atrocious inhumanities plaguing our country at the moment, but that we focus on loving, living, healing, and spreading good cheer.  We have to recharge our batteries to fight the good fight.  We have to focus on the good to keep doing the hard work.  Sometimes a little kindness can help us reach across the table to hear and be heard.  We have to be the difference we want to see in others. I wish you all the best holiday whatever you celebrate, and a fabulous new year.  Celebrate LOVE!

Conditionally

 

I love you…conditionally…

Oh I know it breaks with tradition

And it’s not as appealing without the

Characteristic prefix UN that most often accompanies it.

But it’s more honest, and I value honesty.

All things in life are conditional if you think about it…

That’s not to say, that you cannot ever fuck up, make up, or be forgiven.

We are all human, some of us uniquely flawed.

It simply means I am not a doormat to be walked on, neglected, or treated unfairly.

There are lines that once crossed will permanently alter the here and now.

Paths we might choose to walk down from which we can never return.

We should all tread lightly, lovingly, on the landscape of intimacy.

Know that no matter how much I love you…

If there is ever cause to warrant the withdrawal of my love and support from you…

I will walk away, however broken, with what’s left of my heart.

 

July 8, 2018

©Dani Heart