People flock to your kind and patient aura… like butterflies that flit around in the sun landing only in places where they feel safe and nourished.
People, animals…it’s just something about you.
You’ve long been that space for me.
From the moment I heard your voice there was comfort and recognition.
It took me a little time to process those feelings…
You were home! I was home!
Home will always be wherever I’m with you.
©Dani Heart
5-26-22
For Noelle
Greetings Cheer Peppers I have a little reality for my 7th Nano post, but I have put a positive spin at the end.
I can’t remember exactly when I became aware that the cute origin story I learned in grade school regarding Thanksgiving was complete bullshit. I only know that since knowing it has changed dramatically how I feel about the holiday in general. I now celebrate it as a time to gather with family and be grateful, but I still have ugly sad feelings about it. I know we are not responsible for what our ancestors did, but the fact remains we stole this land from its indigenous people and it feels very wrong to celebrate that in any way. Couple that with how many in our society are acting now about not wanting to share that which we have claimed as our own, knowing full well it was never ours to begin with, leaves me bitter and angry. How are we supposed to feel about this holiday when we know the truth? I guess most people just don’t think too much about it. What ever Thanksgiving was intended to be, I am not happy with what it’s become either. The heavy commercialization of our holidays takes the fun and purpose out of them. Now stores are opening on Thanksgiving in hopes of spurring on the shopping frenzy that feeds their bottom lines. People that aren’t well to do that have to work with the public are forced to work and participate in the madness. They are calling it Brown Thursday which is somewhat apropos considering the shit show that it is. I try to write happy upbeat things and participating in Nano this year I think I have done that. The last couple of years I have been too bereft to even participate. It’s hard because there is so much unpleasantness going on in the world right now. I feel like posting only happy stuff is ignoring the elephant in the room. That said, I know we would all like a break from the elephant so to that end I choose to celebrate love every day. I will choose to celebrate the good things that are happening and be grateful for the gifts in my life. Whatever our ancestors did I know we can do better going forward and we must. Perhaps we define what Thanksgiving is for ourselves. We don’t have to celebrate the lie we’ve been sold. We can make it something better and celebrate that instead. Happy Thanksgiving whatever the day means to you. Enjoy!
Last evening started out like any other after work evening on a December night. We ran holiday errands and chatted excitedly with one another about this that and the other. We found some great gifts at the warehouse store and even ran into our favorite couple of (Bosom Buddies) that we often hang out and travel with. With everything moving along so smoothly we were completely unprepared for what happened next. It was a cold night high 40s, that’s cold for our area, and as we left the warehouse store we had our sights set on a warm delicious entree from our favorite little hole in the wall gem (El Paseo). We love Mexican food, next to steak it’s our absolute (go to) dinner, especially in the winter because it is less expensive and so comforting. Not to mention the kick from Lourdes’s salsa will put the heat back into any night.
We arrive and park and head anxiously down the strip mall corridor salivating at the thought of Lourdes’s one of kind enchiladas and the velvety smooth beans and rice that have become our staple. Then in an instant it happened! We reached the door and it was dark inside, and all the furniture and decor were missing! It was EMPTY! The signs were gone too?! We nearly tripped over our own jaws that lay on the pavement as we headed back to the truck in total shock and disbelief. How could this be?! What ever will we do?! We were just here a couple weeks ago. I liken this feeling to returning to your car with shopping bags in hand only to find the spot where you parked it vacant! Visions of our first tacos together, counting coins from the laundromat and family dinners spent laughing, trading niceties in Spanish with the owner Mark, happy tummies sharing with friends the best Mexican food ever, all swirled about our heads as we struggled to process what just happened.
It’s sprinkling now, we’re staring through the raindrops on the windshield as we drive around in circles uttering things like WTF?, not knowing what to do. We’ve been going to this restaurant since the inception of our relationship which is now going on 13 years. We were once even invited to the owners home for Thanksgiving. We had no idea it was closing. There were no we’re moving signs.. just gone, empty! I suppose we will grieve now, not just for ourselves, but for the owners, their family? I can only imagine what it must be like to lose a business you poured your heart and soul into for 15 years. Perhaps it’s a sign of the times? We are now on the hunt for a new favorite Mexican restaurant hangout, but it’s a lot like losing a favorite pet, you can get a new one… but it will never be the same.
a Heart on the matter 