Whenever possible I’m pulling through…

Back behind the wheel and headed for repair. Whew!!!

I have this habit (recently acquired) of pulling through spaces in parking lots whenever I can.  My wife hates it because she’s always afraid that someone will be coming the other way and we will smash into each other head on.  What I know is this… I (and I’m not alone) am far more likely to hit something or someone backing up than I am going forward.  I hate backing up.  If I could figure out how to eliminate it altogether I would. Since I cannot do this I have made a conscious choice to avoid it as much as possible even if it means extra walking which it often does.  Even if you can’t pull through if you are willing to walk and go further out there is a better chance that it won’t be so trafficy when you do have to back up. (WIN!)

So let’s recap why backing up totally sucks. Here are a few examples of how discourteous people are to people who have to back out of a space.

1) Almost everyone seems to be of the attitude when someone is backing up that since they bear no responsibility whatsoever for the person backing up hitting them…they do not have to worry and therefore go about their business with little regard to the person attempting to back out of a space. Picture.. everything commences as normal as if the vehicle backing up simply wasn’t there.

2) The person that sees the person backing out is 3/4 of the way out and says…I can still make it around them and commences to zoom by.  (MAJOR ASSHOLERY!) I personally will wait for someone who is halfway to three quarters of the way out of a space. sighs.. and on occasions when I am feeling particularly generous I will even stand guard and allow someone to pull out unhindered.

3) Someone who sees someone backing up and pulls behind them in a line of cars blocking them from exiting the space altogether until the line of cars moves and even then if it is trafficy the person attempting to back out may be stuck for a bit. REALLY???? if people are stopped in front of you … you can’t just let the person back out? Yes they will be in front of you for a bit but you’re going nowhere fast anyway so what does it matter?????

For these and just for general safety….

Whenever possible… I am pulling through.

For Those Who Qualify

I was asked to write two apartment ads as part of a project. One is for an apt. in heaven and the other is for an apt in hell.  I found the idea captivating and this is what I came up with.

For Those Who Qualify

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1, 2, and 3 bedroom apts for rent.
All inclusive packages for those who
qualify. Harmonious group activities will
make you feel right at home.
Amenities include Panoramic
views of priceless majesty,with
gold inlay fully upgraded interiors and
flowing fountainous waters throughout.
For a private tour follow the bright light
until you reach the pearlized gate at
1700 Hallelujah Blvd.
and ask for Gabi Ri-elle

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For rent:  Spacious 2+1 fully furnished luxury apt

located in the infamous subterranean inferno towers.

Amenities include onsite sauna, steam room, jacquzzi,

Heated floors, huge fire pits for roasting with your friends.

Eternity leasing available without request.  For more info or

To arrange a tour simply go to the corner of Blaze and Glory, take the

Subway entrance to the red elevator and tell the attendant you are to

meet with Louis Cipher.  No phone calls please, seeing is believing.

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Camping Scary Tales

Campfire
Campfire

We weren’t always pro’s at this camping stuff.  I have an amusing tale to tell about one of our first camping trips that was just the two us…

It was a beautiful time of year, the campground was lush and green and the night brought with it a lovely chill that just made us all the more excited to snuggle by the fire pit.  We talked for hours enjoying the flames and aromatic night air.  Finally the cold caught up to us and we moved our party inside. Many glasses of wine and board games later we crawled into our cozy camp bed and began to drift off to sleep….

Everything was perfect…until…. we heard a ruckus right outside the door like someone was going through our ice chest or dog food bin…. we both pop up…now fully awake despite our alcohol induced partial slumber…

Ax murderer moon
Ax murderer moon

Me: Did you hear that??????

Noelle: Yeah…

Then it happened again….scratch, scratch, dig dig… like someone was going through our stuff.

Me: Where’s the AX???????

Noelle: outside in the bin….

Me: Do you think that was a good idea?????!!!!

Noelle:  …loud whisper WELL NOT NOW!!!!???

Needless to say we did not sleep the rest of the night.  It was probably raccoon’s hoping to find a midnight snack..We didn’t find any disturbance to the campsite the next day but the next night we made sure to put the ax inside with us.   Moral of the story…. keep all weapons inside the tent…and secure all your camp goodies or the raccoon’s shall surely make off with them.