A Room at the Inn

Rain drops 001

Trapped in a world of reverberation
isolated in the assault on my senses
tortured by inescapable disorientating sound
swelling ire permeates, agitates…
as I plot the demise of the leaf blower,
the jackhammer operator, the careless cashier
clinking change too loudly in her tray…

How I long for the soft sounds of snow falling,
wind blowing, rain dropping, fire breathing,
and the deep inner quiet at natures communal

Although steadfast,
I remain unable to bridge the gap of understanding
with those who’ve not experienced my pain
incarcerated in my head
powerless against the din
locked in my cell at the Brain Damaged Inn

Copyright 1/1/2008
Dani Heart ♥

Ignorance’s Toll

Alcohol photos 008

On a two lane rural mountain road

in a car that was compact

great grandpa smiles at my mom

who is seated with me in back.


A child mother at fifteen

cradles baby girl four months old

unaware of the coming danger

a few miles down the road.


In the south it is commonplace

to drink and then to drive

seat belts and infant seats

were laws not yet obliged.


Blissful ignorance is the message

great grandma chooses to send

fate would prove a cruel teacher

just around that next big bend.


The wet pavement curved sharply

but the car slid and went straight

great grandmother intoxicated

could not compensate.


Pandemonium ensued when

over the cliff we did drop

on a hillside in tree branches

we came to a sudden stop.


My tiny head was jarred

and my brain swollen within

“Traumatic Brain Injury”

not common way back then.


We all suffered injuries for

the choice great grandma made

but no one’s toll was higher

than the one that I have paid.


Every day I wake and

while I am happy to be alive

I live with a brain that’s damaged

because she chose to drink and drive.


To Vaccinate or not to Vaccinate, may not be the only question?

Firstly, let me say that I am not necessarily anti-vaccination. Vaccines are a good and sometimes necessary thing to keep diseases at bay that might otherwise wipe out populations.  What I am is pro transparency and accountability. If you are going to force a child to be vaccinated than you should have to be accountable and responsible for the adverse reactions of your product.  There should be factual information about percentages and the severity of reactions so that a parent can make an informed choice.  I am against vaccinations being mandatory and I’ll tell you why.  Let’s forget about the CDC and FDA‘s involvement in scandals that would indicate to anyone paying attention that they are not always on our side, and instead focus on the fact that Big pharmaceutical’s end game is and always has been our dollars.  What a win win for them if vaccines were mandated by the government.  A forced captive consumer base to purchase their vaccines/medicines/poisons.  For a corporation it doesn’t get any better than guaranteed profit.   It is already mandatory for children to receive certain vaccines in order to attend public school with a frowned upon and discouraged exception for religious beliefs.  Unlike doctors, big pharma does not swear an oath to first do no harm, neither does the CDC or the FDA. In fact there are people working for the CDC and FDA that have strong ties with companies who have and are harming us right now.


There is no proof that the flu vaccines circulated each year are effective. In fact from what I have been able to discern they are target specific and then only effective for a brief limited time if at all, yet many medical facilities have forced those vaccinations on their employees as a condition of employment.   Not to mention that while your immuno armies are building up immunity to by fighting the deadened virus you’ve been injected with,  you are open season for whatever else may come along in the interim.  So while the CDC’s claim that you cannot get the flu you are being vaccinated for is true, you certainly can get other flu s or viruses while your immunity is compromised as a result of the vaccination.  The waiver that you must sign when receiving your vaccinations indicates that the possible side effects can be worse than the flu you are getting vaccinated for.

As a child I had no choice and did receive my vaccinations, and as a young mother I chose to vaccinate my child thinking I was doing the right thing. The medical professionals I trusted coerced me,  and assured me that I was doing the right thing.  Looking back now I am not so sure. Yes my son was spared the common childhood illnesses, but perhaps he received something irreparably worse instead. When I had my son vaccinated with the first round of DPT as an infant he had an adverse reaction that scared the hell out us.  I remember well reading the waiver and being reluctant to sign it.  The nurse said it was perfectly safe and I shouldn’t worry.  Right after the vaccination my infant son’s brain swelled to the point of his soft spot protruding outward and making a bubble on the top of his head;  this was accompanied by a high fever.  The doctors simply said sometimes this happens and if the swelling didn’t subside they would take further action, and of course he would not have to have this particular vaccine in the future.  Something like 1% supposedly have this reaction according to the waiver I signed.   I wasn’t educated enough then..to know the ramifications of brain swelling, we didn’t have google.   The swelling did subside eventually, (days later) but what damage occurred in his swollen brain during that time in the very beginning of his life we will never know.  My son did have developmental disabilities.  He was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD early on as a child.   The long term effects of brain swelling can include related issues, thinking and attention skills, communication skills, depression, headaches. Now I have google.  Now I have read about how the DPT vaccine can cause permanent brain damage.  Unfortunately that knowledge comes 25 years too late for my son.  Of course there is no way to prove my suspicions now and that’s my objection. We need to know with certainty that vaccines are safe, and quite frankly we don’t.  There is no accountability to the general public and the waivers you are forced to sign ensure that you have no recourse if your child does have an adverse reaction. Vaccines may be mostly safe for the majority, but what about those like my son?  Is he suffering the lifelong effects of his infant brain swelling beyond his skulls capacity to hold it?  Knowing what I know now…I would venture to say yes… that his brain was permanently damaged as a result of an adverse reaction to a vaccine.  Even 1% of children harmed is too high a cost, and I think the percentage of children effected is actually much higher then we are being led to believe.  Until we can be guaranteed that this type of thing will not happen it needs to remain a choice whether or not to vaccinate, and those who choose not to, should not be maligned or be made to feel like idiots.  As long as parents have a choice the drug companies will have the incentive to make vaccines better and safer for all.