On Your Wedding Day

Give one another the most sacred place you can inside your hearts

Being each other’s safe space is how you make a perfect start

May you never speak words in anger that you neither can un-hear

Instead remember why you chose to hold each other dear

Remember a little laughter can heal all kinds of pain

When looking back, you’ll realize that’s what kept you sane

Eat a little humble pie, you don’t always have to win

This is how the war is won before the battle can begin

Remember you’re on the same team, you must keep a united front

Struggles will come and they will go, but together you’ll bear the brunt

Bravely love with your whole hearts, dare to hold nothing back

If you do this then come what may, there will be nothing you lack

Though this advice can’t promise you a union free from fuss & muss

We lovingly impart these words because this is what worked for us

©Dani Heart


To Tip or Not to Tip…So Many Questions

The days of traditionally tipped job titles may be fading into the rear-view mirror. Currently it seems everybody has their hand out. It’s hard as the consumer to keep it all straight and not feel gouged in the process. We all expect, right or wrong, to tip servers, bell hops, room service attendants, hotel cleaners, delivery drivers…the list goes on of employees who were traditionally paid a little less hourly and relied on tips to supplement their incomes. That list should not include jobs that are legally required to pay the minimum hourly wage. Fast food cashiers start at minimum wage…why are we the consumers now expected to tip at fast food places? Worse…why are the companies themselves engaging in forcing consumers to tip or opt out of a tip when paying with a card!? This is insulting and I am wholly offended! Due to this I no longer tip at all at fast food places where I am prompted to tip or opt out on their pos systems.  I was okay with a cash tip jar out during the pandemic. At that time fast food cashiers were putting their lives on the line and truly going above and beyond. I felt bad for those who needed to work and the companies doing everything they could to remain open. I often dropped dollars in the tip jar and considered it hazard pay. Those days are now over, and I don’t feel they should get paid extra just to do the job they were hired to do. I have a hard time stomaching leaving a tip for someone that is paid at least as much and possibly more than I am at one of my jobs.  I am personally against tipping. I feel that employers should pay their people living wages and that cost should be reflected upfront in the product or service they are selling. That’s not to say that I don’t tip generously servers and like positions that earn it, I do! The other problem is that restaurants expect the public to pay part of their employees’ wages regardless of whether the service is good or even adequate. Many restaurants are now adding service fees to your bill, and it’s not even explained. My other concern is…equity. When there is a service fee on your bill where does it go? Most likely not directly to your server. Is it equitably disbursed among the employees?  probably not! The employees probably don’t see a dime of that money and you must pay for it anyway. Which brings me to digital tipping. When a server gives you your check and you write in what you are tipping them…they see it. They know what tip they are due from their employer for that check. If you add a percentage tip at a fast-food place the employees themselves, most likely never see those numbers. They have no idea how much tips were digitally acquired throughout any given shift. Do they truly receive any of it? A token dog bone while the management and corporate take the lions share. The problem is we the consumer have no idea where our money goes when we tip that way. It’s too easy to alter things digitally. I have worked low level jobs where wage theft was rampant at the hands of unscrupulous managers and corporate greed. Long story short, until things change, if they do, tip job descriptions where you know they are not getting the required hourly minimum. Like delivery drivers… Tip where you feel someone has truly earned it! Be cognizant of where your tip goes and how it is disbursed. Ask. You may not get the truth but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask the question. If you want to tip at a fast-food place…leave cash in the tip jar…employees see that. It’s harder for the employer to steal it! Above all, don’t allow yourself to be shamed into tipping where you feel it isn’t warranted, otherwise where will it end?