Look out Dolly Parton here we come!!!! No enhancement needed!!!

Who ever said your boobs are the first thing to go when you lose weight is a BIG FAT LIAR!!!  I know I have mentioned weight loss before to my audience.  I have been dieting and I am doing quite well actually, save for the month of Dec 2013.  We won’t discuss how bad we blew it during the holidays (diet wise).  Anyway.. since the new year we are back to our regimens and our exercise. Go us! I have shaved off nearly 30 pounds now… and you would think that some of that would be boobage… and you would be gravely mistaken.  Sighs…

Now don’t get me wrong… I like boobs… a lot in fact, but there comes a size when they are just too cumbersome and uncomfortable. When you can lay someone out by turning around too fast (bra-less) without ever raising a fist… you might have a little too much boobage.  When your chiropractor puts you on the inversion thingy and turns you upside down and you nearly suffocate… you might have a little too much boobage.

One of the things that excited me about losing some weight was that I would have less boobage to deal with.  A nice D cup is awesome but… bigger than that (I think) can be a challenge for the person wearing them.  Just my opinion.  I have lost 4 inches in my band size and although my boobs have not gotten any larger (or smaller) my cup size has increased from a 44 F to a 40 L.  I think after finding the handy dandy sizing chart on a couple of websites that I was perhaps wearing a smaller size cup than needed before I started dieting, but sheesh, seriously an L???!!!   I did not know cup sizes even went up that high.   But that’s the size my measurements indicate I should be wearing according to the chart.   My wife has also lost close to 30 lbs. and 4 inches around and is having the same problem.  She too has lost nothing in her boobs.  WTF???!!!

Herein lies the other difficulty;  even at the big girl stores.. once you are above a certain cup size… there is NO place you can go to try a bra on.  I found this out the hard way when I hit all my local retailers with the new sizes we needed and found zilch.  Not only did my search prove fruitless… but I was told by more than one sales person that my wife was an anomaly, that only people who have had boob jobs have a cup size that large while being so small around.  REALLY???!!!  In the end you just have to  order online and trust the size charts and hope said bra fits when it arrives in the mail.  Don’t get me started of the price of a bra that actually supports  large breasts, you almost need to be independently wealthy.  I guess if nothing else this serves as encouragement to stick to my weight loss goals.  Eventually the boobs have to get smaller right?

21 thoughts on “Look out Dolly Parton here we come!!!! No enhancement needed!!!

  1. I’ll cross my fingers for you and you cross yours for me! I seem to have stalled out at a C, which I know is NOTHING by comparison, but after spending pretty much all my adult life in the barely an A range, I want my small boobs back!!!


  2. “you might have a little too much boobage…”—Hahaha, you have your own Jeff Foxworthy thing going on there. I love it. But sadly, I do not share your problem… 😉

    Congrats on the weight loss! That’s awesome!


  3. HOLY LORD! You do have some serious boobage, don’t you? I have also been told that the girth of my breasts is not proportional to the band size. This means I can almost never buy bras in store. Oddly, Ross sells some great castoffs of freakshow sizes, and I can occasionally find something there.

    Have you ever watched the show Double Divas? The ladies in the show aim to make bras of every size. Congrats on the weight loss!


    1. Jen, thanks for the congrats… it sucks to have to buy apparel online. In one sense you want to be like everyone else so shopping is easy, but on the other hand we are not and should not be made to feel like freaks just because we are different. LOL 😉


  4. Oh Dani, I know how you feel. I’ve never been an L, but I do know what it’s like to have boobage that seems like a separate entity attached to your chest. Whenever I go for a massage and they say “Okay, now roll over so you’re face down” it takes me about 5 full minutes to adjust the girls so that a) my torso isn’t about 8 inches off the table; and b) I can breathe. It’s not easy. Then there’s the problem of each bra maker not having the same sizing scale, so you can be an L in one brand and an H in another. Meh.

    That being said, congrats on the weight loss! You inspire me!


    1. Thank you, I am committed to getting smaller. 🙂 I’ve never been an L either..LOL I guess I understand the other side too.. so much attention is given to boobs and for those that don’t have them I get how much they want them. I like my boobs I just wish they were a lot smaller. LOL I have never had a massage but I typically don’t lay face down for the reasons you describe. And yeah the different bra makers don’t fit the same. At HerRoom they have something they call a universal cup size that is supposed to make it easier for women to go from one maker to the next. I guess we will see how true that is here in a bit. I was so excited to see a comment from you. 🙂


  5. Wonderful article Dani! The humor is sparkling and the problem described is worthy of true empathy. As a genuine admirer of boobs, I know what you say must be true because there comes a point in almost everything where more is not better.

    Good luck and keep up the brilliant humor on a trying topic.


  6. I kinda want to yell “boobies!!” now…

    This aside. I’m so proud of your weight loss and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the boobage will reduce as well. With a C, I can’t even begin to imagine what an L is like. Loved your writing and feisty humor haha 🙂


  7. Okay, I’ve always been on the flipside wishing my boons were bigger but DANG. An L cup? I feel your pain. Best of luck to you. I’m sure wherever you end up you’ll look beautiful. 🙂


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